VT

i never knew i'd feel so hurt.

i thought i had healed.

i guess,

i would not believe in love so readily anymore.

for afterall,

love is a losing game.

no plans for my birthday yet.

tomorrow is my lunar birthday!
yes 二月初二 is my lunar birthday (:
nice.
and i've to spend it mugging for consumer behaviour, my LAST PAPER.
yes. going to TGIF girls' night out with melly.
and then going to spend my early saturday morning at dhs with doris to visit the juniors before their concert on 4th March..
will be watching He's Just Not That Into You with Doris thereafter and go buy our cotton on stuffs! (:
Sunday, I hope I'll be going Malaysia with my parents for some shopping.
If not, then I guess I'll just take a good long rest at home before starting work (attachment) on Monday.

Counting down 12 days to my Twentieth Birthday.
EEKS. twentieth just sounds horrible.
it's like, i can no longer be called a "teen" and yet i'm not an "adult" yet.
neither here nor there - stranded.
"I'm not a girl, not yet a woman~"
hahaha. oh wells, at least I'll be banished to the same place as bestie who has already turned twenty on Vday, and doris who is turning twenty-one this year, and jia who is turning twenty-oh-one this year too!

SIGH.
no plans for my birthday... YET.
kinda wallowing in self-pity.
because every year, i pray and hope for a good surprise.
but dang every year i get disappointed.
only myself to blame because i'm kinda too observant, it's damn hard to surprise me.
like last year's birthday cake surprise... hahaha.
xiuyi, claire and clarissa were in cahoots with hesheng to surprise me with the carousel birthday cake hesheng bought for me.
the process was super not-surprise-ish because the three revealed something here and there and made me suspicious.
but i really didn't expect the carousel cake. HAHA.

and because i'm too observant i'm pretty good at planning surprises.
i know what not to do to prevent the "victim" from becoming suspicious.
i think the best surprises i've planned so far was the most recent xiuyi's 20th birthday surprise...
and claire's.. 18th i think. haha where i lied to her i broke up with hesheng and i really needed to talk to her i'm at her place and she came rushing home. but because yingxiu weren't ready yet i had to fake tears cry sob wail.
it was super impromptu but SUPER GOOD.
claire was so taken aback her jaw dropped to the floor and her eyes seriously popped out of her sockets, i swear.

claire's 19th was not bad too no loopholes at all until claire came home and saw the balloons on her roof -.- and we completely failed to light the tealights, thanks uh, Wind.
xiuyi's 19th... she was a little suspicious because her mum kept askin her to come home. (HAHAH CUZ I WAS WAITING AT HER PLACE WITH HER MUM!)
mel's was super impromptu too. but not bad i guess? she wasn't really suspicious when i told her i need to meet my brother, but instead i went to buy her bday cake and all.. shunya's made her wanted to cry haha.

wah ok. i am quite surprised i was involved in so many birthday surprises.

oh wells.
no plans for my birthday yet.
except for one: WISHLIST! (:

hold on. be strong. say goodbye. i love you.

for a moment, i wanted to cry -
just cry without restrain, without the cares of how others would see me.
but i told myself i had to be strong - for my tears would upset her.
i still cannot believe that she's gone;
her last hug, last touch, last feel of her hair, last scent, still lingering.
her voice, her smile, her face, her dimples, still imprinted on my mind.
i still cannot believe that she's gone;
that i won't be seeing her until a year later.
a year later.

i still cannot believe that she's gone.

---

sometimes, goodbye, though it hurts in your heart is the only way for destiny.
sometimes, goodbye, though it hurts, is the only way now for you and me.
thought it's the hardest thing to say, i'll miss your love in every way.
so say goodbye, but don't you cry, cause true love never dies.

Say Goodbye - S Club 7

so i sorta maybe kinda like you a little bit more than i originally planned

but,

♥ Happy Valentines' ♥

happy birthday to:
my dearestest bestie wong xiuyi;
my lao san sandra;
tiara herman far away in england

Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence - 坂Ryuichi Sakamoto本龍

if he's the first thing you look for when you walk into a room then he's gotta be more than just friends
and I don't know what to do, cause I'll never be with you.
i never used to be jealous, but then i started liking you. now i'm jealous of just about every girl that you talk to, smile at, or even wave at. it's all because in those seconds when you look in their eyes, i'm not the girl that's on your mind.

quartre centième

this week has been...

Sunday was procrastination and procrastination.

Monday was HRM 30min tutorial followed by great news from LO (MY ITP DRESS CODE IS CASUAL!!! SHIOK TO THE MAX!) then killer FEB paper and super sinful but nice family dinner.

Tuesday was Dip. Plus counselling skills test.

Wednesday was madness shopping with banal m. (haha i told you i'd give u a new name and call u this! banal m was previously baby m but because she's SOOOOO anal, i have to change her name to banal, which stands for anal baby.)

Thursday was shopping with mummy (crazy mum bought a Gucci bag for the sake of buying it. just because you struck 4D doesnt mean u have to buy a bag to pamper urself. i'd rather you waited for one that you seriously honestly liked it before purchasing it -.- annoying.) last minute Vday shopping alone thereafter and baked from 5pm-630pm. hurr. and then report writing then Vday presents preparation after this till like, 3am?

Friday the Thirteenth

which explains why i'm here at my brother's place right now.

woke up at like 745, wrote banal m a letter till 825, bathed, got ready for school. surprisingly was ready by 905am.

DEN, i remembered i haven't printed my dip plus group & individual report.

SIGH. so i booted my comp to print...

DEN, i remembered i need to burn some stuff into disc when i already shut down my comp...

DEN, the disc couldn't be burnt so i thought of going to school to burn...

DEN, when i reached the MRT i realized i didn't bring the thumbdrive so i have no information to burn...

by this time it's already 10am. lecture was supposed to start at 10am and i'm still stuck at Serangoon MRT, dunno where to go what to do momentararily lost...

so i decided to come to my brother's place to hopefully retrieve the info from my email and burn it... and also hope that my nephew would bring about a change in my sucky day...

and it so happens that my nephew attitude me and totally doesn't want me today.

(ok i'm exaggerating a little he only didn't want me for awhile haha but still...)

i hope after i go to school later and finish distributing the presents i'd feel better.

and i hope i'd have a good time at mel's place later.

hurr hurr hurr.

kismet;

let's go to the park

i wanna kiss you underneath the stars

neverending

it's neverending neverending neverending!
.
.
.
.
.
.

just when u thought everything was over,
there's still Con B presentation.
just when u thought Con B presentation was over,
there's Blaw CA2.
just when u thought Blaw CA2 was over,
there's FEB CA3.
just when u thought FEB CA3 was over,
there's Dip. Plus Counselling Skills test.
just when you thought Dip. Plus Counselling Skills test was over,
there's Dip. Plus individual and group report.
just when you thought Dip. Plus individual group report was over,
there's EXAMS.
just when you thought Exams were over and it's time to partaye,
there's the gruelling attachment.
(i got attached to UniSoft Hi-Tech Pte Ltd with $440/month yeah hurrays. sense my saracasm.)
just when you thought the gruelling attachment is over,
it's year three.

it's just neverending.
no holidays.
SIGH.

---

i'm glad that you took this step.
面对它,接受它,处理它,放下它
you know you had to do it.
and i'm more than glad and willing to be there for you.
i wish i could be more.

now let's hope you are as brave too.
let's hope i am as brave too.

magnets;

love has it all - Ivana Wong

"your scent... it's like a drug to me... my own personal brand of heroin." -edward cullen

rainbow for me (:

(: (: (:
i like this alot
hahaha for no random reason. thanks darryl slut! =P

i really really wanna show you the video but... ....

just too bad that you're not in my class!
"this is mei mei, from Kaypo Channel"

morning preparation for presentation. *YAWNS*

baby

versus darling

sushi-making session taught by lynette's group!

sushi-making in process. LOSER clarke didn't help AT ALL. just eat and eat and eat!

"magic" card tricks our turn! teaching balloon sculpting (:

mr. and mrs. clarke

my "mother" christine ying, HRM tutor.

YAYNESS
WE TOTALLY OWNED THE PRESENTATION! HIGHEST IN CLASS YAY!! (:
tradition
dip. plus

dinner with xiuying, xiuying's fiancé, xiuyi, and xiuying/xiuying's fiancé's colleagues at Rochester Park's Graze restaurant. (Y)

---

finally the craze is OVER!
TGIF TGIF TGIF mannzxzx.
it has been a helluva crazy week.
saturday was project day at my place, AGAIN.
whole bloody saturday BURNT! supposed to go shopping can.
sunday was chionging all the projects, AGAIN.
all the way till monday 230am.
woke up at 630am. went to school at 8am for rehearsal.
10am HRM presentation.
12pm CONB report submission.
1pm FEB presentation.
530pm Dip.Plus presentation. lesson extended till 9pm somemore!
1030pm zzz.
tuesday, big fat hooha class drama.
lazy to elaborate here but, seriously.
i've finally met someone who fits: 为达目的，不择手段.
wednesday was spent doing blaw, chillax with baby m at raffles and shopping with bff!
during dinner time, xiuying called to ask xiuyi for dinner at Rochester Park, and i tagged along.
big fat (I) but nevermind la, hahaha. free dinner leh. wednesday was free meals day mienzxzx.
wanton mee from ah dick and dinner from xiuying. (Y)
all the dumplings. LOL!!
today, seriously marks the day of liberation!!
CONB presentation is over!! no more tolerating ridiculous nonsense from ******* and ****!
(Y)
although i brain-freezed and fumbled for the presentation but HECK this project was doomed to be ruined right from the start.

YES!!

9th feb monday: start of study week, Blaw CA2 submission, FEB Test.
10th feb tuesday: Dip. Plus#2 test.
13th feb friday: Dip. Plus #1 individual and group report submission.

after all that, it's EXAMS!!!
gosh freaking no time to study and all.

and WORST WORST WORST is no time to prepare Vday present, xy's bday present & xy's farewell present mienzxzx.

february 2009 sucks, big time.

baby m's right. life's amazing mann.

QUOTE:
End of report submissions = start of project presentations
End of project presentations = start of exams
End of exams = start of attachment
End of attachment = start of year three

LG - life's good.

mothers and daughters piss each other off;
melissa and carmen crack themselves up.

february has come

I sit alone thinking of you
and all the things we've both been through
You are my soul mate, my very best friend
and i know you'll be there until the end

Your shoulder to cry on will soon be gone
who will be there when something is wrong
when times are tough you're always there
It shows me just how much you care

Although we're going separate ways
you're in my heart every single day
nothing can make a person see
how special a friend you are to me

You understand a side of me
that no one else could ever see
you know whats wrong before i cry
but if I do, you'd always know why

We've been together through good and bad
you made me laugh when i was sad
and no one else could ever be
as good of a friend you are to me

Our time together is wilting away
more and more everyday
but now until the very end
you'll always be my special friend