on a happier note.

i feel so guilty and all that i've made everyone so worried for me..
but that's what blogs and friends are for what!
teehee.
thanks EVERY SINGLE ONE for your care and concern.
esp those that i smsed.
haha. honestly speaking, when i was smsing u all, i had this strong urge to BURST and BREAKDOWN and CRY.
but i was in the canteen! i think everyone would think that i'm crazy.
but i bet they'll all go, she must be a biology student!
(that's how stressful taking biology is)


anyway, i feel so guilt-stricken that i've posted such an ungRam post.
hahaha.
i have this very strong urge to delete it away!
because i feel that it's so not me!
it's so not me to be using the "F" word.
i guess it was just those moments.
those moments of my split personality where my evil twin reins over my angelic self!
(muahahaha)
yeap. but since it's still part of me, i shall not delete it away (i guess?)
it's one of those dilemma where u go like, "WHAT!!! WHEN ON EARTH DID I WRITE THAT?! IT'S NOT ME! YOU KNOW IT'S NOT ME! CARMEN'S NOT LIKE THAT! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!"
but deep down inside, you know you wrote that out of a moment of anguish. ta!
(okayyy... am i like, scaring all of you now, cuz i really sound like one of those who have split personalities...? HAHAHA.)


anyway, i agree xin..
promos only what.
it's not the end of the world if i flunk it.
it's not the end of the world if i dont get promoted.
i'll just have to restart everything all over again.
i'll just disappoint my parents.
i'll just waste one more year in JC.
i'll just... you know, life goes on.
it doesnt matter if i fail or not, but whether i'll pick myself up after i've fallen.
and i believe that with the support of my loved ones, friends and families, i'll get up fine.


on a happier note,
wanna share my happiness with everyone... teehee
(:(:(:

9th Sept 2006:

anyway, good luck everyone i love in NYJC for GP paper tmr!
and all the best to the rest having promos!
i love you guys <3 cant wait to meet up after all these horrid tortures.













hold on but dont hold too tight.
let go, it's gonna be alright.
dont run away from what your heart is saying.
be strong, face what you're afraid of.
come'on! show them what you're made of.
i know it's hard when your hope is gone,
but you gotta keep going on.

dont give up. be strong.
when the going gets tough you gotta, HOLD ON.

okay. in case anyone says that i'm not a responsible blogger,
please be informed that this post contains vulgarities and violent complaints.
people under 16 please refrain from reading!












i'm so bloody fucking stressed up now.
what kind of stupid fucking system are we in right now?
what did our poor batch do to deserve all these bloody fucking treatments?
did we just happened to be borned in the wrong era to deserve being treated as guinea pigs?!


i came home late today.half an hour late.it's no big deal (to me normally)
but u know, mrs xx just announced to the class that next year, we would be doing all these stupid bloody fucking chapters that only the university students are doing.
next year, our tutorials would be all based on the university papers because they have no TYS to rely on.
FYI: TYS = ten-year series.


i mean, this totally TOTALLY sucks.
what did we do to deserve 30% of university syllabus?!
did we born in a year that says we're all super-brained babies that can take all these crap?
and apparently, my school has the worst system of all.
today, mei hui brought up a point in class that in AC, they learn about the probability and everything in sex-linkage and crossing over, den why are we not taught here?
mrs xx brought up that we have to bear in mind they went into that sch with what points and we went into NY with how many points?
dont question why our notes are all like that. if you want better notes, go to better school.
den why the fucking hell is NY setting their promo criteria so bloody high?
our standards is about the same as MJ, and their promotional criteria is 1h2 and 2h1 passes. and their promotional exams takes up 70% of their entire grade.
(and not to mention, MJ is already "famous", aka "notorious" for their retaining percentage)
den why the hell do we deserve 2h2 and 1h1 passes?
and apparently, teachers & students have been spreadin rumours that, ok, i heard this mornin,
200 people would be retained, and another one that i heard this afternoon, 50 people would be retained.
and even if you meet the criteria of 2h2s and 1h1 passes, you might not be promoted if your other 1h1 and 1h2 subjects does not meet a certain criteria.
WHAT THE FLYING FUCK.


i mean, look at the current batch of J2s!!!
only less than 10people are retained!!!
and J2s are promoted even with 3U!!! (or maybe F / O in the "older" language) provided that their attitude in classes were good and they have been consistenly handing in their work.
i am seriously fucking stressed up.
why not they go ahead retain the entire cohort mann.
i mean, look at the mid year results mann.


screw the bloody fucking system.

I think i've done this before but nevertheless...
I NEED SOME STRESS RELIEVES.
something to divert my mind from "studies studies and studies" and "i dont wanna get retained i dont wanna get retained" and "i think i'll get retained i think i'll get retained"


1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it does not make sense.NO CHEATING!
4. Tag five people at their tag-board to ask them to do this!
5. Bold the questions and with the answers, give your own comments on how it relates to the questions.


How are you feeling today? Jay Chou - An Hao
eh? haha. alot of teachers hinting to us we shld REALLY start studying NOW.haha. i'm actually feeling really stressed & tired today.


Will you get far in life? Jamelia - Superstar
hmm...i guess i'll become a superstar! yeah.i always thought so! ahaha. something in me SHINES huh. =P and xiuyi always saw that in me... for the "latest" Bday present i received (sec 3) was a BIG CUSHION saying "You're A Star!" love you bestie!


How do your friends see you? Sugababes - Red Dress
hmm... let's see.. maybe they see me as umm, passionate? energetic? sexy? (hohoho) maybe dangerous...


Will you get married?Michael Learns to Rock - You Took My Heart Away
waha. so of course i'll get married! and i'll get married to a guy that takes my heart away! hmm..that sounds good. cuz it means i'll actually get married to someone i REALLY REALLY REALLY LOVE.. :) you took my heart away~


What is your best friend's theme song? Black Eyed Peas - Let's Get Retarded
hahaha! yeah! i definitely get retarded with my best friends! like xiuyi... DORIS! needless to say..hohoho. and hmm... NIGUS OF COURSE! THE RETARDETEST OF ALL.


What is the story of your life? Maroon 5 - She Will Be Loved
ooh! cool. so i not only will love the guy i marry, i'll be loved in my entire life! duh! i know my parents & brothers love me to the core (:(:


What was primary school like? The Wonderers - That Thing You Do
yeah! that's it! that thing you do! i knew it since CCPS Concert Band played it! -swing swing swing-


How can you get ahead in life? The Click Five - Catch Your Wave
hmm.. so.. i should go surfing? or wake-boarding? or get eaten by some sharks? lalala...


What is the best thing about your friends? McFly - I've Got You
YEAP! i'm glad my friends are always there for me!!! THANK YOU BABES!
I LOVE YOU! AND I KNOW I WILL ALWAYS HAVE YOU ALL IN MY LIFE!!!


What is in store for you this weekend? Tata Young - Cinderella
so...i'm going to be Cinderella this weekend and be home be 12? (duh.definitely.i'll be home mugging till i burn out.haha.)
i'd rather rescue myself~ (sigh)


What song describes you? Kelly Clarkson - You Found Me
uhhh... i definitely have not found myself.. but i guess one day i will? cuz there's just so many sides to a piscean.. hahaha. i can always discover sth new abt myself...


To describe your grandparents? Qian Nv You Hun
HAHAHA. they are really "hun" now... honestly speakin, i dont have much memories of my grandparents cuz they all passed away when i was of a very young age..


How is your life going? Victor Huang - Li Wo Yuan Yi Dian
yeah.. those that annoy me please leave me alone and stay away from me.
i'm gettin more and more easily irritable. does that say anything about my life?
easily irritable = bad tempered = stressed


What song will they play at your funeral?Evonne Hsu - Xue Hui
wah.. what a sad song.. maybe i'll keep on learning new things till the day i die? hahaha. or maybe i'll never "xue hui"...
ying gai wang le ni, ke shi wo xue bu hui~


How does the world see you? Elva Hsiao - Xing Fu De Di Tu
how come all the chinese songs start accumulating at the back? haha.. maybe they see me as the map to their happiness.. ooh. maybe i'll be a counsellor? (: hahaha. that explains why people comes to me for advice...?


Will you have a happy life? Michael Learns To Rock - 25 Minutes
wow. so i'll have only 25 minutes of genuine happiness in my entire life?!?! boohoos.


What do your friends really think of you? Abba - Money Money Money
ahaha! true.. i dont know why but people tend to have the illusion that i'm rich.
hah. but i'd love to be a profligate at times. I REALLY DO. please let me strike rich. please.
(den maybe i can stop studying and major in shopping and graduate from malls)


Do people secretly lust after you? Destiny's Child - Survivor
HO. so i'm the sole survivor amongst all that people secretly lusts for?HA.HA.HA.


How can I make myself happy? Sum41 - Makes no Difference
yarh duh. since i'm going to be only genuinely happy for 25minutes in my entire life!


What should you do with your life? The Beatles - Here Comes the Sun
so... i should be optimistic about life? yeah? YEAH!
I WILL GET PROMOTED! i will! i will... i... will...?


Will you ever have children? S Club 7 - The Colour of Blue
uhh..so i'll have children? blue? means.. i'll have sons? NO! i want daughters!

sighs. :(
my life has been so mundane and there's nothing really blog-worthy about...
HA.
alright alright. my life aint so boring after all..
it's just that i havent really got time to blog.


thursday, 31st August 2006
teachers' day celebration!!!
rainy day really spoils everything.
we had bhangra dancing for ACES day.whoo.it was fun mann.
and it would be funner if i had say... 0612 doing it with me.
or say... nigus.. 4K.. or dhsco peeps..
doing it with my class was simply a killer because 20 of them vanished into thin air.. there was only tiara, me, anandhi, xueting, jingwen & eric left if i remembered correctly.. wonderful right?
the rest simply vanished somewhere to study for Bio SPA.
disgusting act.
i mean, come on la. u all think this is stupid and so? the rest of us are what? a bunch of idiots who thinks this is the greatest ACES day we've ever had issit?
and u all have bio SPA to study for and who are we? top scorers in class that thinks nothing of bio SPA? -rollseyes-
i thought national day's activity worked, but duh, it didn't.


nevertheless, the celebration was rather successful.
there were many impressionable ones that i really really liked..
like there was ms lim zhong yan & mr joel lu's duet!
high high high!
they held hands while singing!
-ohmyholymothercow-


then there was the band performance by ms melissa kwok and company..
ms melissa kwok (lead singer)
mr bernard tan (bass guitar)
mrs pusparanee (drums)
ms ng (synthesizer)
ms ivay tan (trombone)
it was a really nice performance and i really sang my guts out:
itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polkadot bikini
top of the world
fly me to the moon
-beams-
thank you ms kwok for your dedication!


there was one really really horrid one by this student, she sand "Only Hope" by Mandy Moore.
and it was really -ohmyholymothercow- the toads can sing better.
couldn't wait for the celebration to end..
went canteen.again, we were supposed to eat as a class.. and then there's this "mysterious group" that mysteriously disappeared..
i think we're like the most pathetic people..slogging our guts out studyin bio while the rest of the world are back at their own secondary sch or celebrating.


wasn't exactly in the mood to go back to dhs..
but i went back in the end..
after lugging the zhongsuo back home & den lugging it to dhs in the cats & dogs weather.
being back there was great.
seeing familiar faces greeting me with warm darlie smiles. -beams-
when i first got down the cab, sophia (loh) was greetin me "Hi Carmen!why are u back so late?"
and then clara was going "Carmen!!!"
love being greeted by familiar faces of the dunman family (:
den reunion with the GY pple..seeing jia at the practice, seeing Zheng Lao Shi!!!
my it really cheered me up, ALOT ALOT.
especially when xiuyi was so friendly with me (like duh.she's supposed to be since she's my bf)
but no i was expecting her to have mood swings -cringe- oops. so sorry.
haha.
went parkway with her after pract..
and den meet up with hesheng.

bf i <3 you!
i lub chewx.


friday, 1st september 2006
finished watching My Lovely Samsoon!
watched The Devil Wears Prada
watched The Art of Seduction
-beams-
(now i'm left with Snakes on a Plane & My Super Ex GF cuz i watched Love Wrecked w HS alr)


saturday, 2nd september 2006
homework day!completed my econs and GP compre..haha.
and daddy & i went for mummy's RC concert.. teehee.
tiring day >.<


sunday, 3rd september 2006
oh my tian oh my tian oh my tian!
meeting up w bf!
swimming & sun-tannig at D'Manor!
bf was wearin swimsuit & not bikini..so..we didn't take any pictures..
happy happy happy day (:
and i cant reveal what we did after swimming..hahaha.
sworn to secrecy!
oh oh. duncha think it just sounds scandalous? wahaha.