105,185?

I'M HOME AND I JUST HAD MY SHOWER AND THAT FEELS GREAT!
why?
because my dear little one spat his porridge all over me just now.
and i reeked of smelly porridge and saliva.
yuck. so Gao Weh.
the little one is just so annoying, irritating, but yet so super duper adorable.
one smile from him will make me forget all my troubles and woes (tests) and every little annoying thing that he did.
*sigh* missing my little one already.

i'm so tired (he is weighing 7over kilograms now and doesn't like sitting down. he likes to stand but he can't support his own weight so we have to constantly keep our hands under his armpits to support him. and occasionally when he feels like jumping we have to carry him. haiya, anything to make him happy) i can just hit the bed and knock out. have been babysitting him all day whilst trying to cram as much QA in as possible.
something is very wrong with me.
i don't know how to pinpoint it.
i hate studying during holidays because i can never get anything in.
i'd feel so slack and have this delusion of having all the time in the world, i would procrastinate and procrastinate and procrastinate.
i seriously LACK SELF-DISCIPLINE like a drought lacks water.
it's like, i totally have no mood and no interest to study for the test, yet at the back of my head, some voice would nag at me saying that i will TOTALLY start feeling regretful and remorseful when the results come back.
yet the voice gets softer and softer by the minute.
and there's this part of me that wants the good results, yet my body just doesn't budge, and my brain just doesn't listen.
and i can't bring myself to study/read the notes.
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?

i really hate this side of me.
really.

---

sidenote.
something amusing happened today.
after FMA (quite a disaster. it was like, easy and do-able but i just can't quite figure out what and where went wrong) i headed to the bus stop opposite SB (not dover because i left through the side gate) and waited hell long (25mins) for 105.
after Buona Vista station, instead of heading straight to Commonwealth, it turned left into Holland Avenue.

me: "EH? since when did 105 come to holland V?"
den i looked around me, the rest of the commuters were quite as puzzled as me too. someone wodered out loud, "Is this the new route?"
and to our surprise, the bus driver parked somewhere and opened the exit door.
he turned around and told us, "Habis! Finish!"
and we were all rooted to our seats, all with the same quizzical look and going "huh?"
the driver repeated, this time louder: "Habis! Finish already! Alight here!"

Lady: "But this is 105 right? 105 terminates at Serangoon what?"

Driver: "This bus is 185."

Grumpy Middle-aged Man, with severly balding head speaking in mandarin: "Wah lao eh. What is wrong with you? This is 105! You drive what bus you also dunno! You drive wrong route is it? you mei you gao cuo!!"

Driver, very puzzled: "This bus 185!"

Me: "No! This bus is 105!"

Driver: "This bus is ONE-EIGHT-FIVE"

Me: "But the signboard says 105!" (i'm so sure the bus is 105 i'm near exasperation because the first time i took 105 home a long time ago, i hailed 185 by mistake so since then i always make sure it's 105 and not 185 before waving down the bus. another reason also being FIVE different people of different gender, race and age, boarding at different bus stops, including myself can't possibly have boarded the wrong bus all on the same day right?)

The bus driver alighted from the front door and we followed. He then pointed to the board right next to the front door and said, "there! My bus is 185!"
We were so appalled when we saw the LED with orange 185 lighted.
Then indignantly, the lady and I pointed to the front board and said, "there! it looks like 105 lor! where's the line in the middle of the '8'? "
The driver abashedly said he didn't know that the line in between wasn't lighted and told us to walk back to the Buona Vista station bus stop to take 105.

OMG. it's like the most amusing bus ride ever.

105? 185? 傻傻分不清楚