random rantings

MID YEARS!
how i missed dunman.where there are absolutely NO MID YEARS.
i'd rather suffer every week studying for the tests than squeeze everything into June because I ABSOLUTELY WOULD NOT STUDY DURING JUNE HOLIDAYS.
there's a reason why it's called "HOLIDAYS" you know.
with mid years, it's just not HOLIDAYS anymore.
and the school already took up the entire first week of the June Holidays.
and then there's GP exam on 23rd June.which is equivalent to TWO WEEKS OF THE HOLIDAY GONE.
how can i possibly be studying during that miserable two weeks when ALL I WANT TO DO IS TO ENJOY AND HAVE FUN???


anyway, the CO BBQ (including planning) took up like, almost another week of my holiday.which means i have, had, have (whatever) ONLY ONE WEEK. one pathetic little week to cram whatever i've "learnt" or rather, whatever the teachers have taught into my teeny weeny puny little brain.
and i JUST DONT HAVE THE MOOD TO STUDY!
DAMN IT.
I'M IN FOR IT.
SCREWING UP MID YEARS BIG BIG HUMONGOUS ENORMOUS ULTRA GIGANTIC TIME.


bahhh.
and my mum had this sudden craving for KFC today for lunch.
so i walked all the wayyy to the central's far far away KFC to buy for her.
had this sudden craving for coconut pie.
tried it before but it's the first time i'm eating one whole pie alone.
and i realised,
food dont taste as nice without nigus around...
i was savouring it, but the taste just wasn't as good as when i eat jiajia's.
and when i always irritate and laugh at her saying she's eating "glue".
even the cheese fries suddenly doesn't make me feel hungry anymore.
i just miss nigus.
to think that i actually started crying when i heard S.H.E's "yi qi kai shi de lv cheng"..the song i dedicated to them..cuz i really really missed nigus.


and i find JC ppl, and their attitude rather disgusting.(not entirely though)
i miss the warmth i find in dunman.
in jc i just feel like everyone's hiding something from everyone and this kind of feeling just disgusts me.
it's like, everyone is suddenly becoming so..so.. *strains very hard to find the correct word* realistic?selfish?apathetic? uhhh.i mean, u get the idea.
and i totally dont like the idea of consultation with teachers (x infinite times.)
i mean, u can consult the teachers!not say you cant.
but u dont have to go to the extent of...ARGH.
I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY.THESE PEOPLE MAKE ME FEEL DISGUSTED.
no offence to all in NY who are reading this i'm just making a generalisation and not stereotyping everyone k.


i thought i could.
but
i'm not letting go of the past.
YOU CANT GO ON LIKE THIS ANYMORE, CARMEN WONG.
quit being nostalgic.














i'm afraid of everything.